Lazy Bull Weekly #9 - Markets on Cruise Control, Tariffs on Standby

Welcome back, Bulls. It’s June, the charts are buzzing, and so is your group chat. Here’s everything you missed while pretending your “long-term strategy” wasn’t just diamond-handing through chaos.

📈 Market Movers

🏋️‍♂️ U.S. Stocks Lift Again
Wall Street bench-pressed a 1.2% gain this week, now flexing a 12% return YTD. Earnings growth forecast? +14% annually. That’s what happens when consumer spending holds up and investors pretend tariffs don’t exist.

₿ Bitcoin: The Drama Queen’s Back
BTC broke its high — $112,000 — and analysts now whisper sweet nothings like “$130K by June.” Why? ETF money, blockchain hype, and pure vibes. Resistance at $113K–115K. Support? Probably your emotions.

🥇 Gold Might Wake Up
Gold’s been lurking in the background like a boomer at a crypto conference but June could finally be its breakout month. Keep an eye on volatility and those magical “key dates” everyone on YouTube keeps yelling about.

🌎 Economic Updates

🇺🇸 U.S. Debt? Moody’s Says “Yikes”
Moody’s downgraded the U.S. credit rating. Apparently, racking up debt like a teenager with a new credit card has consequences. Yields jumped. The Fed looks nervous but is still practicing its best “everything’s fine” face.

🛃 Trade & Tariff Talk

U.S.-China Talks: Still Swiping Left
Talks are stalled. Treasury Secretary Bessent says it’s time for “leader-level” discussions which is code for no one wants to make the first move.

TACO Tariffs: Coming or Nah?
The Trump team’s playing with a 15% tariff for 150 days under the Trade Act of 1974. Courts blocked similar plans before, but markets are assuming Trump might pull a classic fakeout. We call it the “TACO trade” Tariff Anticipation, Chill Optimism.

EU Tariff Delay: Croissants Saved (For Now)
Trump postponed a 50% EU tariff to July 9 after chatting with Ursula von der Leyen. Europe breathed a sigh of relief. French wine exporters? Slightly less stressed.

💼 Corporate Highlights

Nvidia: Holding Up the Entire Market
Earnings beat. AI hype remains hotter than summer in Texas. Tech surged. Nvidia’s still the poster child for “buy the chip, trust the chip.”

Tesla’s Robotaxi Tease
Tesla stock rose on buzz that robotaxi testing starts June 12. Will it actually happen? Or will it join the long list of Elon promises, right next to “Mars in 2022”?

HP: Revenue Up, Outlook Down
Revenue beat. Earnings missed. Thanks, tariffs. They're moving production out of China like it’s a breakup — into Vietnam, Thailand, Mexico, and everywhere else by June.

Retail Therapy Watch
– Costco: +3% after Q3 win. Bulk savings, bulk gains.
– Ulta: +13% — apparently, lipstick inflation is bullish.

💸 Regulation & Crypto Shenanigans

Stablecoin Laws: GENIUS or Just a Name?
The “GENIUS” Act for stablecoin regulation moves to the Senate. Expect buzz, lobbying, and possibly your uncle asking what a stablecoin is.

Big Banks Join the Chain Gang
JPMorgan, Citi, BofA, and Wells Fargo are cooking up a joint stablecoin. Welcome to TradFi meets DeFi: now with more compliance and less memes.

⚔️ JEPI vs SCHD: Dividend Gladiators Enter the Ring

You’re lazy. You want income. And you want it now — without reading 300 pages of balance sheets. So which ETF lets you sip coffee while the money shows up: JEPI or SCHD?

Let’s break it down — Lazy Bull style.

So… JEPI?
If you’re retired, allergic to stock charts, and want monthly income with low drama, JEPI’s your low-vol, high-yield pal. Just don’t expect moonshots — it trades upside for stability.

Or SCHD?
If you’re still working, reinvesting, and want growth + dividends, SCHD gives you exposure to quality companies that consistently increase payouts over time. Slow, steady, and Warren Buffett-approved.

– Lazy Bull

Disclaimer: This is not financial advice. The content provided is for informational purposes only. Always do your own research